Everyone belongs somewhere, people just get lost along the way.
literally, no longer care about peoples opinions on my motivation, moods or myself. why should I bother listening to what people think of me, when it only creates problems. just stay out of my life.
Today’s just one of those days, where you want it to end. It’s not valentines day, it’s the 14th of February. And carries nothing but bad memories of 5/6 years back. As thankful I am that all is well, it’s still a reminder of how easily things can be turned upside down. And nothing is move moving than seeing your brother fighting in intensive care, with tubes coming out...
plans - ‘an intention or decision about what one is going to do’ I’m pretty sure people are supposed to keep to plans, and not just make them for fun. I just feel so let down by the lack of anything I desire happening, I make plans to see you, because I want to see you. But it only ever seems a one way battle that I wont ever win.
Ignorance kills me, people you used to talk to everyday, no longer have time for you, or even the conscience to tell you why they no longer have the bother to reply. I look at my phone, see some of the text feeds I have, and all I see are green messages, with no reply. And still, I don’t know what’s happened, what made you all of a sudden, overnight, dislike me as a person, so much...
2nd best Not even sure… Tbh, I still wish I knew what was going on in your head sometimes, I know that it’s not me. Another thing I hate, is people telling you; Maybe it’s time to move on… cos that’s clearly what you did…? I need to get you off my mind, but it’s not that easy. Rant over.
fuckyeahforbandwagons: I wish you’d just acknowledge me, even if it is just to tell me you hate me, you dont need me any more,just anything instead of this hopeless hanging..onto what exactly? bitch be telling the truth ^
okay, so the ball has dropped, along with my self confidence… literally lost the words to describe what I’m thinking, the words to sum up how much of a dick I feel. but there’s obviously something about me.. I just wish I knew, and I wish you could just tell me straight, but maybe that wouldn’t help me? I don’t know what I want, my head’ everywhere..
I wish I could dictate what would happen next, I wish you would be the one chasing me, I’m starting to get fed up on planning to see you only to be let down again, fair enough I haven’t told you how I feel, but surely it’s not hard to see. I build my hopes up, create scenario’s in my head, it all seems perfect… and now if I do see you, I wont feel the same as I did a few days back, now my...
you’re the first thing I look for when I wake up, and the last thing I look at before I sleep, feel special? no? well I want to make you feel special… okay?
So yeah; But I’m guessing you don’t care, so what do you want me to do now, wait again for the next chance I think I’m getting?